Withdrawls

I told myself I'm not falling in love again

I'm not falling in love with another guy, who won't love me back the way I want to be loved.

Yet, I can't help falling in love.

I kept telling myself he's not a love, just a good company.

I wonder to myself, what happened to me who were ok with not hearing back.

When did I get so needy again?

Knowing i'm just hurting myself again is just an act of stupidity. But may be it's too late...

Too Short

Life is already too short to regret, to experience, to do everything you ever want to do.

And it shouldn't be made even shorter.

When we were little kids, we thought grown up was full of fun things. And I remember being excited about being 1 year older.

But now, as the year goes by, not all news are happy news anymore.

The parting of Izzy was way too soon. Espesh after what happened to Harry.

All I remember is the smiles of these people, and all of a sudden, the reality hits that we can no longer see these people anymore.

She may have only cross my life in a very short span, but to think that there is nowhere in this lifetime that I will ever walk into her again saddens me.

Her body is resting overseas, and to think that she is alone hurts me. I wish someone can go over soon and give her a hug, let her know that she's ok now. It may be too late, but she needs to know that she was loved, and is still loved.

It only takes 1 moment to change a life completely.

To all my friends, I don't want to shear any more tears.....

Freedom

Some days, I miss the freedom

I'm not young enough to verbalize everything that happens in life.

I've learnt to let things go,

I've learnt to adapt.

No matter how mature a person looks, 21 is still a 21 years old.

I'm sick of being intruded by small little things.

I know it is my fault but she also have to learn that nothing can be done to perfection the way she likes to be.

Her definition of clean is not the same as everyone else.

You either adapt, or suck it in and do it yourself, or find your own place.

Girl, it's called cooperation...

Take Me Home

Some days, when I'm driving at dusk, it feels as if I kept on driving, I will eventually get home.

HOME, where my mother will welcome me.

HOME, where our cat will be sleeping all over the couch.

HOME, where my father will be working in the gardens.

HOME, where I smell the sweet aroma of my mother's cooking.


oh how I miss that.


My family has never been big on christmas. But I do miss my family a lot at this time of the year.

When everyone is full of smiles, thinking of their own family.

The gifts, the foods, the decorations.

It's not just about the day, but the built up to the day is what I miss the most.


Mum,  I want to come home.

Hitting the wall.

It 's not the fact that I was close to you.

But you left so much impact on me, and I don't know how to word this feeling.

All I know is that my heart is still sank from the fact that you are no longer walking on this earth.

It is a fact, that we barely talked,

It is a fact that I have not seen you in more than few years.

But what I do know is that you brightened up my darkest days.

I lived on your status updates, and videos.

And it was one of the few things that kept me up float.

Harry, you inspired and cherished people over a little screen, that was too small for you.

I can't wish anymore for you that you are at peace.

Save me a dance when I see you again.

Dancing scene is not the same without you.

One and the Only

You're the one and the only,

Nobody will ever try to replace the person called you,

And nobody will ever be able to replace the person called you.

You're the one and the only in the world,

And I hope you didn't forget to take your dance shoes and the best suit with you.

Rest in peace, and I hope you're in the happier place now.

Lock it

Every time I get hurt, I feel like this. I'm still looking for my prince charming,

but I feel like the more hopes I get up with new relationships and failing,

I'm having a matryoshka effect.