Dance, dance, dance....

It is said that Rhumba is the dance of love.

But if you ask me, Bachata is the dance of true love.

I love the way he moves, the way he sways, the way he holds me, and everything and every moment he bachata with me.


The world of bachata and me, bachata and you, you and me...... 


I don't think non-dancers will ever understand this unavoidable moment of attraction.  When I am so satisfied in that moment of time that it makes me feel like the world has stopped.  A complete silence in the air..... that is so satisfying...... All I want to do, is say no word, and absorb that moment.....

It is more than a bit of self control to stop making myself from being greedy and want more than I can have and ruin the moment.  Everything has been very platonic, and it will probably stay that way whether I would like to or not.  But I'm more than happy that I've met a dancer like him to show me another side of dancing, a world that is not just about competitions, levels and showing off...


Aventura solo por un beso....




A song to remember, a song to be remembered and a song which will always remind me of you.....

Merry Christmas

Woot, yay, it's a Christmas, so what......

A redundancy and 2 rejections from job applications over the last 2 days.  What an effort.  So now, I officially have nothing holding me in Dunedin.  None, zero, null, nessun.

I've been looking at flight tickets to go up to Auckland.  They are not looking too healthy from Dunedin.  Also I really wanted to go and visit my Chef in Nelson before I go up North.  He promised me that he will spoil me at his restaurant and mighty garden when I go up.  Maybe I should bus up..... but 2x6hours or more? I'm not too sure if I'll be able to take that....

So today (well yesterday now as it's way past midnight), I am really thankful that I have a friend like Poet and the Baby face.  It is true that I've only known Poet since October or so, but he already feels like one of my oldest friend.  There is hardly anything that I don't tell him about.  Apparently one of his friend told him in the past that he's like a really comfy couch or something along that context.  And I would like to agree with that.  He truly is comfy.  I'm not saying he's squishy like a couch, but the whole atmosphere he creates is so relaxing.

Him and Jack been teaching me bachata since he's been in Dunedin.  I really love bachata, it simply relaxes my mind and the thoughts are fully cleared.  It becomes the world of me, bachata and the music that runs in the back ground.  Dancing like that makes me feel that competing is waste of time, why compete when you can find someone who you can be truly enjoy dancing with.  You don't need the competition adrenalin to excite me.

While I was talking to Poet today, I tried to piece my brain together, and 1 thing came clear at the end of the day.  If I can get a 6 months or so temp job in Auckland or Dunedin,  I'm going to France in July/August.  I want to go to Grasse and take the perfume summer school and see if I can actually cope that world.  I've have enough passion for Perfumes, and I know that my sense of smell is much better than a lot of people, but is that enough to get me through?? that has always been the big question.

At least by going to the summer school, I can at least get some glimpse of what it is like, and not wait till I get that whole 11500 Euro and find out that I don't have the "it" to be a perfumer.  I guess it's my way of asking, should I just keep on dreaming or just give it up.

Is this going to be the last ticket to France? I guess I will find out.....

Now my Baby Face - the other beloved friend.  He's the weirdest friend I will ever have.  He's definitely not my brother, definitely not my love, wouldn't say he's like any of other friend, but he's a bit more like my favourite dog.  Except for the fact that dogs eat white coloured food and he can't, and he doesn't slobber all over me.   I can be immature with him, and tease him as much as I want, and be selfish as I want, but when I turn around, he's always there for me.  He's definitely a friend that no matter where he is, I can trust him to be my friend.

He gave me a txt couple of night a go, when I was down about leaving the work

I said to him "Baby Face, I'm not ready to leave yet" . When I was at the very edge of having a cry in my room.

Him "I don't want to see my best friend down like this,  you know how much I want to be right beside you right now, and just be there for you". 

Even when I initially told him about the possibility of working in Singapore, he said "If you do go to Singapore, I might just chase you, so you know you'll have 1 guaranteed friend with you at least"


Now in the past, when I say I want to go to overseas, many people don't believe me or back off especially if it's a guy.  But he's special, when he says he will chase me, he's one of those guys that will.  Whether there is any benefit in for him at all.

Now I have officially 7 days till my flat lease expires.  Although my friend offered me her room, I should take this seriously.  I have to put myself together and pack my room.

The countdown has begun, Dunedin is soon going to be part of the past....

First English Blog

So here it is, my first blog in English.

Whether I'll ever show this to people I know, I don't know.  But Poet managed to make me want to write in English rather than in Japanese like I always used to.

I guess it's kind of good as I don't have to hold back on what to write like I have to with Facebook these days as way too many people are using them.

So today is the day for my new journey.

I've officially left my work which I've been working for the past 1 year and 10 days.  To be totally honest, I didn't want to leave.  The fact that I'm finishing work on the same day as the last day of operation for the company this year, this day is feeling more unreal than ever.  I still feel like I'm going to walk back into my office when the 2 week break is over.  Just like everybody else.

But the fact is, it's not going to happen.

I'm done.

I've been getting ready for this day for the last month or so.  And I hated it.  Letting go of all my loving products, colleagues, everything that has been my life for the past year and 10 days.  I have had to let everything go.

I suppose I should be excited for the new journey, but I'm not.  I wanted to be given a choice to leave, not because I had to.

It's almost Christmas, and I have nothing.  No family, no partner, no job.  I feel like absolute crap.  Everyone in the house packing their gifts, bags, and getting ready to either see their loved ones or to start a new journey.  And I'm stuck here.  I have to move out in a week, and I don't even know where.  Sure, people have offered me to crash at their place, but do I really want to live like that?

I want a life, I want a future, I have ambitions, I want my life to be controlled by me.

Yes, I do have 2 company that I'm waiting to heard back from.  And yes, they are both very attractive in 2 different ways, and I do have friends that will keep me company whichever choice I decide to take.  But there is something in me, that's giving me the doubt, that I won't get either of the jobs.   But other than my long term goal of wanting to be a perfumer,  my overall ambition for anything else is low.

On top of that, it really doesn't help that I don't feel like I've finished my current work.  And it's making me really demotivated about everything.

I'm really grateful that all of my friends has been supporting me.  But I feel empty, lifeless like I'm going through a relation break up.

I guess I did love my work.  And hence why I'm having this feeling.
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oh great, just had a call from my agent for 1 of the job

Telling me they can't get hold of the manager and they don't even know if they can even get hold of the manager.

Just screw it,

honestly, SCREW IT.