little happiness of life

There are many ways to appreciate life and feel blessed to be in this life.

And today, I feel the warmth in my heart for having someone in my life to share my happiness.

I sit here wrapping one gift at a time, for my special boy that makes me smile.

It's not about what he does or does not do for me.

Little words he say, time he share with me, how he lies next to me, his being itself makes me smile.

I imagine his smile of when he open these gift, and I feel so happy.

Tonight, I'm the happiest girl on this life for having someone to make happy.

looking for the shadow

As I wake up with the sunlight shimmering through the curtains, I reached my arm across to find your warmth.

Just to find out that you're not there.

I raised myself and looked around, finally to realise that I am in my room alone, and not at yours.

Yet, I was still sleeping on the same side of the bed as if I was with you, leaving the other side empty.

It scared me that I already look for your presence, and how uncomfortable it is to be in my own room now.

I told myself not to fall in love again. But yet, I can't help looking for you....

To the beautiful angel in the sky

Don't drink and drive.

I don't think there is anything is as easy and as clear as this statement.

But because someone decided she don't care, and because someone decided to  be ignorant, because someone was so utterly stupid, one of our beautiful friend is now in heaven.

She was so cherished, so beautiful inside and out. I already miss her smiles and the fun chats we had.

"see you when you get back"

That's what she said to me before I left to Australia. I was thinking of the fun times we will have at acro when I get back.

But in just 1 week, everything has changed so much. And nothing hit me until I got back either. But it wasn't all a dream.

Julian is drowned in his tears Karen, you should be back here with us.... it was way too early for you to leave this planet, and we are not ready to say good bye.

tomorrow, there is going to be a lake of tears from all the friends you have touched, and will forever love you.

Rest in peace Karen, and I hope you took your dance shoes with you.

"until next time lah"

the power to say no.

so many times in my life, the want of spending time together over powered the want to looks after myself.

But this might finally be the time to put in practice.

I am better than who I think I am.

Withdrawls

I told myself I'm not falling in love again

I'm not falling in love with another guy, who won't love me back the way I want to be loved.

Yet, I can't help falling in love.

I kept telling myself he's not a love, just a good company.

I wonder to myself, what happened to me who were ok with not hearing back.

When did I get so needy again?

Knowing i'm just hurting myself again is just an act of stupidity. But may be it's too late...

Too Short

Life is already too short to regret, to experience, to do everything you ever want to do.

And it shouldn't be made even shorter.

When we were little kids, we thought grown up was full of fun things. And I remember being excited about being 1 year older.

But now, as the year goes by, not all news are happy news anymore.

The parting of Izzy was way too soon. Espesh after what happened to Harry.

All I remember is the smiles of these people, and all of a sudden, the reality hits that we can no longer see these people anymore.

She may have only cross my life in a very short span, but to think that there is nowhere in this lifetime that I will ever walk into her again saddens me.

Her body is resting overseas, and to think that she is alone hurts me. I wish someone can go over soon and give her a hug, let her know that she's ok now. It may be too late, but she needs to know that she was loved, and is still loved.

It only takes 1 moment to change a life completely.

To all my friends, I don't want to shear any more tears.....

Freedom

Some days, I miss the freedom

I'm not young enough to verbalize everything that happens in life.

I've learnt to let things go,

I've learnt to adapt.

No matter how mature a person looks, 21 is still a 21 years old.

I'm sick of being intruded by small little things.

I know it is my fault but she also have to learn that nothing can be done to perfection the way she likes to be.

Her definition of clean is not the same as everyone else.

You either adapt, or suck it in and do it yourself, or find your own place.

Girl, it's called cooperation...