Desitny

I believe in destiny.

I believe that every one of us has a meaning for living. That belief my discolor every now and then, but most of time, it's on top of my belief list.

And I also believe that certain thing in life is meant to happen. And happen for a reason whether it seems bad or not at the time.

Big daddy has been so supportive the whole time that I was in Singapore, and every now and then, my greediness came out to say that I MUST track him, I don't want to lose him.

I still love him equally, but ever since me and him had

"the talk"

I don't feel so insecure anymore.

What I didn't want is the fact that it was only me who had a feeling this whole time. And that he was just keeping up with it, coz he was too nice to say no.

But knowing that somewhere along the line, our hearts crossed, it means more in a way that our lives has crossed.

We're still traveling on a gravel road, not knowing what we want in life, or where we want to go from here, but all I know is that, there was that one time, we were connected, mind and spirit.

I still want him if I can, but I gave up on trying to stop the boat that is not willing to rest it's sails.

I will be hurt  if the day comes that turns out that I'm not the one,

but for now, even if he doesn't say anything special, he still doesn't fail to put a smile on my face.

And that's all I need.

A SMILE.

Happy birthday my friend. Will love you forever.

Getting older and wiser

I remember back in those days that I was so nervous that I couldn't ask the boy I liked out.

I remember back in those days it was a challenge to hold a boy's hand.

I remember back in those days when I really really really wanted to kiss a boy but I didn't know how to ask or how to put myself out there.

I remember THAT day, and it took sooooooo long before it got there.

Then I remember getting into the world of working, and having to get into the awkward situation where I had to do the whole

"awww, thank you" 

or

"awwww congratulations!!"

with kisses, sometimes on the cheek, sometimes on the lips, and me with awkward smile looking like a grinch, hoping to get out from this moment as quick as possible.

Then it became ok,

I'd verbally say that I love my friends, or use word as a teaser

like

"you're so annoying"


"Oh you know you love me!"

or it became ok to wear mini skirt into public, and then the heels, and the tops became tighter, and push up bras here and there.

But when did it became ok??

And when did it become ok to kiss those boys that you just met that night but you were flirting with, and when did become ok to do so even in public??

People say older ladies are shameless, but I guess I'm starting to go into that track.

Priorities

Priorities and family.

The two you think it doesn't blend in together.

But I find out today that it does....

Borrowing my mother's cell phone to call my father, she tells me


"use the short cut, long press on the 2"


You wonder why it's "2" considering it's someone you call on a relatively frequent basis, you'd think it'll be stored under "1". So I asked


"Who's on number 1?"


She answers

"Your sister".


Heh, priorities aye?