Not by choice, but somehow it happens.
The side that comes up that is most often is the stubbornly serious side. Well I call this serious because I don't know any other appropriate word for it. It's the side of me that likes to talk about life, politics, cultures, religion, the side of me that does not like the half done jobs - needs everything to be planned out and done properly. And also it's the side of me that may lecture people from time to time.... If this came up as officious to some people, my apologies. But that's just me in a raw state - not cooked down.
And there is the childish me, the side of me that will go and climb up the trees in middle of the night (completely sober), swing off into a river on a Tarzan swing, be attached enormously to my stuffed bunny that I got for my 6th birthday (I think, it's something like that anyway), jump on top of my relaxed friends on the couch just so I can head lock them, and the side of me that would probably try and push my friend's face into an ice cream just for fun.
And also the side of me that completely likes being a teaser/mean. Now this is bit like a mixture of the two above in a way. Rather than being serious, I like to be witty, and nudge people and be at an extreme end of a smart-assed. And also in this side, I like to be a teaser, I guess in a way of putting on the "bad girl" mask. And for some weird reason, I tend to be on the rather hyper side of tension with this side of me comes out. The person that see me in this state the most is definitely the CatGirl and BabyFace. I usually have no shame when I'm at this state too lol. And for some weird reason, it tends to come out a lot is when I'm with dancers (Cerocers)... hmmm is that saying something about dancing??? maybe....
Obviously, these 3 are not the only side of me, and there are other sides of me that you will probably only see with someone particular, for example, I make myself look like I'm tough especially at work (that's my stubborn serious/professional side speaking), but at times I do break down when it reaches the limit. And thank you to all my loving friends that supports me when I'm at that stage. And also, for those people that know my 3rd side may find it hard to believe, but I do have shame, and I can be shy from time to time too.
Anyway, the whole point is, I sometimes act completely different in front of certain people (not just behaviour but even talking-wise), and I'm wondering, if I ever get a partner who is a non-dancer, never seen me in the 3rd face, I wonder what he would think of me when they do?? If I'm nudging BabyFace for example, I don't particularly speak the cleanest language, and if I'm fooling around especially with CatGirl, I'm a major teaser in variety of ways. It's almost enough to make people think I'm drunk I guess, but I'm fully sober. And on the other side, if people think I'm a serious good girl type, then they would have me completely wrong too.... But I'm never trying to hide my sides, but its just that some people it comes out and some people it doesn't! And saying that, if someone liked me for my 3rd side, then would they be freaked out if I'm all serious?? It's trying to mix something that is not immiscible.
I get questioned often "what is your ideal man??""
The answer is simple, "a man who accepts me for who I am, and support me physically and mentally". Nothing less, nothing more. But then even looking at myself, there is only about 1 person that I know in my life that have seen and/or capable of keeping up with me with mixture of all the sides above, and he's already my ex. So I'm wondering, "would I ever get my Mr.Perfect??"
Meh, I hope so, I don't want to be single til I die.
Oh, on a random note, I was talking to BabyFace today about Poet and how everything that can stuff up by moving into another country has happened to this poor man, and somehow when I refer about him, I'm speaking in my weird half Malaysian-ish accent! I'm blaming this on you Poet, I haven't even left my country yet and getting an accent!! (If you've been sneezing this morning, you know why now!). But gees, I don't even want to think about what's gonna happen in few months down the track. I thought kiwi accent is bad enough, I don't need another one.
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