Jealousy

It's stupid to feel jealousy towards pro dancers.

They have more than a bit of experience than you, and talent than you, and spent more hours practicing than you.

Yet I can't stop wishing that I could dance like them, blasting the floor.

For me, dancing better is not to show off (well, most of the time), but it's about having to do ANYTHING that I want to do exactly the way I imagined in my mind or even better.

But also, there is a part of me that can't tolerate being just an average dancer again. I want to be better, I want to be the girl that everyone want to watch again.

I want to stand in fornt of the mirror, and practice my moves again.

I want critiques.

I want the adrenalines of the competitions.

I want to be out there again.

I want to live the life of my other dream.

I WANT TO DANCE

Ceroc

For all my dancing life, I absolutely endured Ceroc. I just couldn't think of a life without dancing ceroc.

I also do love bachata, but it was a completely different world when compared to Ceroc. Ceroc was a social dancing, and to dance with anyone. Bachata was to melt myself into the music and fall in love all again.

Yet, looking at those clips from ceroc, my heart doesn't pounder anymore. The oohs and ahhs and the glamours I used to see in ceroc is not there anymore. When I get back onto the dance floor, there is still no other dancing that puts me on a high as much as ceroc does.

I can jump, I can fly, I can slide, I can do anything.

Yet, there is part of me that wants to more. I want to be up there with the professionals.



Dancing is still my hobby, but dancing in a little island isn't enough anymore. I want more.

Dancing WCS and Salsa and bachata, they all taught me that you need technicalities to dance better. Just having a passions is not enough. Ceroc may be free, but that also means there are no basics. Seeing Chuck Brown in real life really doesn't help either. Even the way he warms up, you can tell instantly the difference between any Cerocers, and triggers my want for being better.

knowing that I can hit the beat better, knowing that I can feel the music better than those teachers on those dvd's that I used to admire, I am being more and more greedy.

I wish I had a partner again. I wish that I had a partner that can read every moves that I want.

I want to be out there, to burn the floor once again.

I look back at the piles of my old Ceroc notes of moves. And remember those days that manhattan was a pretty and an awesome move, and swan dip was a extremely hard execution. I wonder where those days has gone....

But am I wanting to be better to be on the top for Ceroc? I don't know... I truly don't know.....

Thank You

There are few people in my life that definitely made a big influence in my life. And Poet, you're definitely one of them.

I loved the way you danced right from the first time we danced (well, practically speaking, it was the second coz you don't remember our 1st time!), and I have never ever though I'd be dancing crazy like now when we met.

You taught me so many things, especially bachata and cuban salsa. You were so passionate back then, and everyone admired your passion too, and I was def one of them.

The existence and the relationship between dance partners are hard to explain to people who are not a dancer themselves. Dance partners does not have to be a relationship or life partner, but it needs to be someone you can trust, someone you can freely share an opinion with and comfortable with, someone you flow well with, and most importantly someone who you feel a chemistry with.

There is no doubt that I have danced with many many people up til now. But every time I did, and come back and dance with you, I always felt so much better and so comfortable in your lead, and appreciated the fact that you are my dance partner.  It was not just about liking the way you moved, but when we danced together, 1+1 became 3, we were able to BURN the floor.

You were one special dance partner. I didn't had to tell you to do anything, you almost read my mind. You flowed the way I wanted you to flow. Although our difference in taste of music were sometimes questionable, at the end of the day, we had one heck of a dance together in the past 12 months that I've known you.

Have you realised Poet? this weekend actually marked our 12 months of our dancing life. We had our first blast at your brother's birthday, the 1st Friday of October 2010.  Your siblings told me so much about this "dancing addicted brother" they have, over so many years, and I only finally met you for the first time in my final year in Dunedin, and our final year in New Zealand. It was definitely a pure luck that I found a job which happened to be in Singapore, and we even managed to compete together in this funny country.

I just want to thank you so much for everything you have given me til today. Your dancing shoes may be put on hold for now, but I'm going to keep on moving. I still wish that you could keep on moving with me, and forever if it was ever possible, but I guess it is time that "we" are no longer going to be "we".  Whatever your future holds, keep on moving, and I'll be waiting for you, on the dance floor if you ever decide to put your shoes back on again.

Love you lots, and will miss you loads, I know we will see each other still, but I won't pester you for dancing again. But IF, IF you ever do want to, you know where I will be. On the dance floor, dreaming of the days that I burnt the floor with you.

This song is forever yours.

~Hay Amores by Daniel Santacruz

Idols

I always thought it was so bizarre how american people seems to have strong opinion about people being a "role model" or an "idol" for younger generations. 

I used to think 

"you know what, that's call just being influenced without thinking so you don't have to think for yourself"

But I think I have an idol now too.  Her name is Jo Quinones, aka Bachata Princess, this dynamic lady right here.

I took a private lesson with her and he equally amazing partner Vince Torres, and I have absolutely no regrets.  She is so gorgeous, so dynamite, and I will admit, I have a crush on her!! (Yes daddy, shush, I know!).  I got an email from her today, in reply to my thank you letter that I sent to her the other day. And it totally melted my heart, and kept me happy all day.

I like the fact that latin dancing can be practiced by yourself too, whereas with Ceroc, it's more than a bit difficult. And right now, I want to be dancing every minute that I can see my reflection all the stuff she has taught me. The balance, the weight, the lines, everything.  She told me that me and Poet must send her a clip of new and dazzled version of our routine within a month to see our progress. And WOW that's more than a motivation for sure!!!!! every time I'm dancing, there is part of me who is thinking in my head, "I wanna get better so I can show Jo that she can really influence on someone's life!!"  I want to maker her feel proud, I want to make her feel that she is AWESOME.  And if I can have even 5% of the hotness that she has, I'll be all over the place!!!!!

Jo Quinones, you have taken my heart away!!!!  

Dance Dance Dance!

My heart is beating to the to the music

My feet is pounding to the beat

My soul is shouting at me to dance

Should I? or should I not? you are part of me, and I am part of you. The music is my blood.

I don't have to stop dancing, but I need to restrict myself. But how do I free myself without the dances I love, the music I love, and the people I loved.

Why do I dance? I do def care about how I appeal when I dance, but at the end of the day, it is only me who really cares how I dance or not.  The more I practice, and more I can move.  The more I can move, the more I can share my feelings.  My dancing is like my naked self.  Maybe I just want to tell people how I feel about the music? I don't know. All I know is that I love dancing, especially bachata.

I will put my shoes down for now, like I've told myself.  But I will not stop dancing in my heart. I will come back to you dancing feet, just wait for me, coz I will, I promise....

Just Shut Up And Leave Me Alone

I find it really annoying that some people are just clueless and have the biggest mouth in the world.

I'm struggling in Singapore in a way that I have no friends to spend time with on Friday nights or weekend with or not having a person that I can speak in English to and understand jokes and sarcasm or not being able to go dancing.

And some people can be so annoying that they can manage to make me angry even with just chatting.  Why do I even bother replying to chats like that? I don't know.  Why do people think that every single city or country operates exactly the same?

NO, I'm not going to dancing and find people that have cars to give me a ride home.
NO, I'm not going to buy a car in Singapore when it's almost no point and ridiculously expensive.
NO, I'm not going to spend $30-40 on a taxi to go dancing for 1 night in Singapore.
NO, I'm not dancing every night because I AM WORKING.
YES, IT TAKES ABOUT AN HOUR TO GET TO STUDIOS.

So gradually my anger level goes up.  If I can strangle people online, I would have done so by now.

Dance, dance, dance....

It is said that Rhumba is the dance of love.

But if you ask me, Bachata is the dance of true love.

I love the way he moves, the way he sways, the way he holds me, and everything and every moment he bachata with me.


The world of bachata and me, bachata and you, you and me...... 


I don't think non-dancers will ever understand this unavoidable moment of attraction.  When I am so satisfied in that moment of time that it makes me feel like the world has stopped.  A complete silence in the air..... that is so satisfying...... All I want to do, is say no word, and absorb that moment.....

It is more than a bit of self control to stop making myself from being greedy and want more than I can have and ruin the moment.  Everything has been very platonic, and it will probably stay that way whether I would like to or not.  But I'm more than happy that I've met a dancer like him to show me another side of dancing, a world that is not just about competitions, levels and showing off...


Aventura solo por un beso....




A song to remember, a song to be remembered and a song which will always remind me of you.....