Bastard

Bastard.

I'm sorry, but there are times in my life I utterly have to bad mouth.  And that time is right now.

It's not the greatest feeling in the world that the man I once loved so much regrets breaking up with me, when he's the one who decided to end our relationship.

I was about to dedicate my life to this man.  I love him so much to the point that I wanted to spend rest of my life with him.   He is the one who want to end it, and took off wanting his "freedom".

I did not want to know that his current girlfriend who he left me for is very beautiful, and that is the only good thing about her.  It is not greatest thing to hear that I'm not as pretty as her but I have all other qualities.  It's like being told "you're wife material but not girlfriend".

I'm sick of guys leaving with the words

"You will find a man a lot better than me"

If everyone leaves me with the same word, then it's no longer a compliment.  It's just a bitch.  Why can't I chose who I want to be with.  If you can't take the responsibility to tell me that you don't want to be with me, don't tell me the crap that you don't mean.

Even knowing that it was better off for me that I am no longer with him, it still hurts to think about him.

I GAVE UP MY DREAM FOR YOU

I WAS GOING TO DEDICATE MY LIFE TO YOU

I LOVED YOU WITH ALL MY HEART, I LOVED YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE, AND NOTHING ELSE.

The sad thing is, rather than being in the mindset of "haha, it's too late if you just realised what you've lost, coz you ain't good for me", I'm still hurt by finding this out.  I thought  2 years is a long enough time for me to heal my wounds, but it turns out that his being is like a permanent scar or tatoo on my heart.

Bastard, that's what you are.