Exploration

It's my first weekend off in Singapore, and I've decided to go on a area hunting.  I figured checking out some locations before I have to look for a place to live after I come back would be a good idea.

I woke up at 9, and made myself a SALAD, yes, SALAD.  Something which I have not been eating at all since I've arrived in this country.  And damn it was good!! It's funny to think that depending on what you cook, it's definitely much more pricier to cook at home in Singapore.

Anyway, after brunch, I hopped on the MRT and took off to first stop Yio Chu Kang.  It was a funny place because this place had absolutely not shops around MRT station.  Just the station and the bus stop.  But after mindless walking in general direction, I found the local market and the food court.  Which was excellent.  It's a bit more of what I thought Singapore would be like before I came here.  Numerous little shops in their speciality.  And this place is definitely cheap to live.  The only problem is, none of these shops have any price tags, so since I can't speak a word of Chinese, I have a feeling it's going to increase some price than what the actual locals would get.  But yeah, no shopping malls were to be seen in the area, just local small shops.  There are a whole block full of them.  It kind of reminded me of Victoria market in Melbourne.  And I just came to realization that I haven't even seen a single book shop since I've been here. Although saying that it'll probably in the languages I can't understand anyway.  So yes, there wasn't anything particularly wrong with this place, but I figured I'm going to have a massive trouble looking for some European foods if I was to cook some.

So the next stop was Ang Mo Kio.  And this place, I LOVE IT.  the thing I love the most is the "mega store" it's definitely the biggest supermarket I've seen so far, and it wasn't that pricy either.  Considering how urbanised this place is, the prices are still quite reasonable, and I throughly enjoyed myself in this area.  Oh, and I finally found some durians!!  Except they were only sold as a whole or there was 1 particular place which was selling durian cake that had a massive line, and I was almost tempted to go and buy some but I was too lazy to line up.  Maybe next time I will actually try......  After the train station building exploration, I actually got so tired that I didn't bother checking out beyond the shops and some of the residential area, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to love living here.  The only down side may be is that it's a bit busy for my liking.  Although having all those shops are extremely convenient,  I still like the slow feeling when it comes to living.  It's relaxing at the end of the day.

Anyway, it was already 4pm by the time I left Ang Mo Kio, but I figured I should just go and get it over and done with, so off I went to Bishan.  I was originally looking at this place as I saw that there is a new MRT track under construction that would make the trip to dancing a lot easier than it is right now, but it turns out that it's only going to open in 2014, bummer.  Poet told me when he was originally house hunting that this area is one of the richest area in Singapore, so I was kind of expecting a really flash place with all the expensive shops and what not, and I was really surprised about how normal this place is.  Once again, it's not a bad place but it doesn't wow me either.  I'd much prefer Ang Mo Kio over Bishan.  It was only 4.30pm, but I was sooooo hungry and went hunting for food.  Beside the fact that you can get a lot of Japanese food here, I was quite disappointed to see nothing too interesting.

I know that around the MRT is not the only place to look, but it's a good way to start anyway.

After I got back from Bishan into Sembawang, I definitely like how laid back this area is. And its clean, and very at home feeling.  I mean, sure, the supermarket isn't the best, but it still has the bare minimum that I need.  Enough European ingredients that I need anyway.  So I guess this is all going to be depending on Steph at the end of the day.  Although it does take about an hour to Salsa from here, I don't think I'll dance not in weekends anyway. And after Poet comes back to Singapore (and me) and Steph comes to Singapore, that should be enough motivation for an 1 hour trip.  But knowing her, she probably needs all the shopping to live.

Speaking of which, I bought a new dress today.  After checking out the venue earlier in the week, I figured that I need some nice clothes to go dancing.  So I did, and I've been looking so forward to going dancing all week long.  But after I got back, although I was only out for about 4 hours, I was so tired that  I was getting a headache and I fell asleep, which made me even more tired.  If this was Dunedin, I probably would have gone out to dance, but I was not fit enough for an 1 hour train ride and this is not the time to get sick anyway, so I gave tonight a miss.  SOOOOOOO NOT impressed with myself.  But yes, there is always next time, and I have to be mature and responsible and look after myself.  How boring.

Anyway, this post is already long enough, I should just go back to watching Burlesque. I'm loving the songs in this movie...

Just Shut Up And Leave Me Alone

I find it really annoying that some people are just clueless and have the biggest mouth in the world.

I'm struggling in Singapore in a way that I have no friends to spend time with on Friday nights or weekend with or not having a person that I can speak in English to and understand jokes and sarcasm or not being able to go dancing.

And some people can be so annoying that they can manage to make me angry even with just chatting.  Why do I even bother replying to chats like that? I don't know.  Why do people think that every single city or country operates exactly the same?

NO, I'm not going to dancing and find people that have cars to give me a ride home.
NO, I'm not going to buy a car in Singapore when it's almost no point and ridiculously expensive.
NO, I'm not going to spend $30-40 on a taxi to go dancing for 1 night in Singapore.
NO, I'm not dancing every night because I AM WORKING.
YES, IT TAKES ABOUT AN HOUR TO GET TO STUDIOS.

So gradually my anger level goes up.  If I can strangle people online, I would have done so by now.

Minute Of Silence For The Christchurch Earthquake Victims

Please,

If you are a random or a friend of mine, or anyone who reads this entry,  please give minute of silence to those who have become the victim of the Christchurch earthquake which happened on the afternoon of Tues 22nd Feb 2011.

I am fortunate to say that none of my direct friends so far has been affected greatly, although I'm still waiting to hear back from 1 more and another's family.

This earthquake is even more devastating than Nagaoka Earthquake in 2004 - which happens to be my mothers home town which my uncle's family still lives in.  Being hit in Christchurch is almost as bad as being hit in Dunedin or Tauranga.  It's very personal to me.

I can't stop reading the articles online and be hurt about all those people who are suffering the looses of their loved ones, and still waiting to hear back from their loved ones.

To all those people in Christchurch, my thoughts are with you.....

Day 3

So the work started yesterday, and my manager is scary as hell, I don't understand half of what my colleagues say, and slightly gutted about how small my work is, and most annoying as hell, everyone else's English is not good enough to crack a joke or say a slang!

If other people can continue with the conversation or even ask what  it means, it's probably better, but nobody does, so the conversation ends up being dead.  So that sux. I mean, I can't really say much yet as it is only 2 days of working so far.  But I already feel English deprived.  I feel like I've been here for couple of weeks but the reality is, it's only been 3 days.

I'm feeling so comfortable in this slow paced Sambawang that it's a bit demotivating for me to go out from this district.  I'm not too fussed about shopping as other people go on about.  Personally, I don't like having too many choices coz I have to make too many decisions.  So being on this side of town may suit me after all.  So maybe I should look for place around here when I come back.

The only problem is Salsa.  If I live on this side of the country, I can only dance on Fridays and Saturdays. It's probably enough, but traveling 1 hour to dancing, hmmmmm.

This blog is utterly boring as I have completely no inspiration to write anything interesting, but I just wanted something to do before I sleep tonight.

But I will go to sleep now, good night world.

Day 1

So here I am Singapore!!

That's right, I'm in Singapore baby!

So what did I get up to on this glorious 1st day in Singapore?? well..... NOTHING.

I thought about doing few stuff considering I woke up at 6am.  But after waking up, having a shower, ate breakfast, write few emails, and then my body decided to shut down and therefore I went back to sleep.  And when I woke up it was 11am already.

My landlords have been absolutely nice, they are both Malaysian couple, who have previously been living in renting condition for 20-30 years of their lives and experienced first hand the ups and downs of renting properties.  So their policies is that "they know how bad it can be to rent a room, so they want the people who are staying at their place as comfortable as possible".  And they have been doing amazing job at that.

Anyway, they left me a little note on my door asking if I want to join them for a lunch at 1pm-ish, so I decided to take the offer and stay.  Except the 1pm was changed to more like 2.30pm, followed by the horror stories of all the renting situations, so I ended up running out of time to go out in the afternoon too.

But I did manage to go out for dinner at near by food court, some kind of wonton ish soup dish which was very tasty :D  And went for a wee explore around the neighbourhood.   Before I came to Sembawang, I read on internet about how most people that live in this area is military people and not many locals doesn't want to live here.  So I was rather hesitant about living here initially.  But it turns out that it's not so crowded like the dead in the middle of the city, and people are quite relaxed just like New Zealand.  I haven't explored the other place of Singapore yet so I can't say, but if people don't like this side of town because of how sleepy it is, I'm actually loving it.

I'm loving Singapore so far.  It has Asian elements that I always wished there was in NZ,  but yet it has enough European influence that I don't feel so uncomfortable living like I do in Japan.  Although I usually don't care what people think of me, there is still some side of me that wants to blend in, and I'm absolutely loving the fact that I can just walk down the road and feel that I am "Asian".

This country feel so at home, that although I'm surrounded by all of these chinese writings and people talking to each other in languages that I don't understand, I'm not getting the "oh my god, I feel so lost" panic attack.  In a way, I feel much more comfortable than any place in NZ.  Funny that huh?

I'm definitely looking forward to exploring this city.  I can't wait to come back here in 3 months.

Faith

My family is made up of 2 religions

1 - Russian Catholic

2 - Shinto

My grandmother and my uncle's family are all Russian Catholic, and my parents are Shinto and during my whole life, nobody ever tried to convict me into either of the religion.   Probably to keep the family circle peaceful I guess.

In aspect of Christianity, I can even count with my right hand how many times I've been to church in my whole life.  But there is something about the whole atmosphere about churches itself that I like and dislike at the same time.

Every time I step into a church, I admire the architecture and the very sacred feeling of the whole place.  When I went to France few years a go, I couldn't stop visiting every church that I saw when I was exploring through various towns.  There was even 1 incidence in Grasse in an old part of the town, where it stood one of the the oldest church in the area, called Notre Dame Du-puy. It was built on the cliff side which looks over the city, and the bell rings in the crisp morning air.  Under the church, is the stair cases leading into underground cave like room, which was lined with stone pavements.  It was so rocky that I remember wondering why the chairs balance up so nicely without clattering at all.  

It actually turns out that that room is where they held the services, and not in the actual big main church upstairs.  At that current point, my understanding of French language was "oui", "non", "bonjour" and "je ne sais pas", but the service started straight after I entered the room and it was too awkward to leave so I ended up staying.  Obviously, I didn't understand anything that the Priest was saying, but it turns out that it was a Roman catholic church. Although my grandmother was Russian Catholic, and the churches I've been to before this day was all Russian Catholic churches, the atmosphere of the environment felt some what familiar.  And when the prayer started, all I wanted to do was to cry.  It was not because it reminded me of my grandmother who has already passed away more than few years a go, but it was more in the feeling of being at ease and almost released by being in a place like that.  The only thing that was going in my head at the time was 

"Now I understand what my grandma was feeling when she went to the church".

At the same time, that is the reason why I don't like going to some churches - it makes me feel like a bad person.  It makes me feel bad for being in a place that feels so sacred, holy and pure, and yet there was I, who didn't have faith in Christianity.   It almost makes me feel dirty and sick and don't belong there.

So what is the point of this post??

Well tonight, I was invited over for a dinner at my friend's place down the road.  All of their family are Christian, and before every meal, they say their grace.  Today was no exception.  The oldest sister of the family said the grace, which included some phrases along the line of 

"thank you god for allowing us to get together today, and here we join us tonight is Himawari, who will be beginning her new journey, and please bless her for her safe journey and take care of her in the times ahead....." etc, etc

My memories aren't very good with words, and the original grace sounded much much better than this, but the point it, it made me want to cry again.  I felt so blessed and loved to have a good friend like them to care about me in such way.  And at that moment, I really wanted to thank her really badly for being so considerate, and I really really appreciated her for asking for blessing by god, and I actually do feel like I'm ready to take the new step into the new world now.

I may be one of the furtherest person from being a Christian, but I cannot express how fortunate I feel to be born on into this world.   

And to the greater power that protects us all, thank you...

The Sides of Me

I have multiple sides.

Not by choice, but somehow it happens.

The side that comes up that is most often is the stubbornly serious side.  Well I call this serious because I don't know any other appropriate word for it.  It's the side of me that likes to talk about life, politics, cultures, religion, the side of me that does not like the half done jobs - needs everything to be planned out and done properly.  And also it's the side of me that may lecture people from time to time....  If this came up as officious to some people, my apologies.  But that's just me in a raw state - not cooked down.

And there is the childish me, the side of me that will go and climb up the trees in middle of the night (completely sober), swing off into a river on a Tarzan swing, be attached enormously to my stuffed bunny that I got for my 6th birthday (I think, it's something like that anyway), jump on top of my relaxed friends on the couch just so I can head lock them, and the side of me that would probably try and push my friend's face into an ice cream just for fun.  

And also the side of me that completely likes being a teaser/mean.  Now this is bit like a mixture of the two above in a way.  Rather than being serious, I like to be witty, and nudge people and be at an extreme end of a smart-assed.   And also in this side, I like to be a teaser, I guess in a way of putting on the "bad girl" mask.  And for some weird reason, I tend to be on the rather hyper side of tension with this side of me comes out.  The person that see me in this state the most is definitely the CatGirl and BabyFace.  I usually have no shame when I'm at this state too lol.  And for some weird reason, it tends to come out a lot is when I'm with dancers (Cerocers)... hmmm is that saying something about dancing??? maybe....

Obviously, these 3 are not the only side of me, and there are other sides of me that you will probably only see with someone particular, for example, I make myself look like I'm tough especially at work (that's my stubborn serious/professional side speaking), but at times I do break down when it reaches the limit.  And thank you to all my loving friends that supports me when I'm at that stage.  And also, for those people that know my 3rd side may find it hard to believe, but I do have shame, and I can be shy from time to time too. 

Anyway, the whole point is, I sometimes act completely different in front of certain people (not just behaviour but even talking-wise), and I'm wondering, if I ever get a partner who is a non-dancer, never seen me in the 3rd face, I wonder what he would think of me when they do??  If I'm nudging BabyFace for example, I don't particularly speak the cleanest language, and if I'm fooling around especially with CatGirl, I'm a major teaser in variety of ways.  It's almost enough to make people think I'm drunk I guess, but I'm fully sober.  And on the other side, if people think I'm a serious good girl type, then they would have me completely wrong too.... But I'm never trying to hide my sides, but its just that some people it comes out and some people it doesn't!  And saying that, if someone liked me for my 3rd side, then would they be freaked out if I'm all serious??  It's trying to mix something that is not immiscible. 

I get questioned often "what is your ideal man??""

The answer is simple, "a man who accepts me for who I am, and support me physically and mentally".  Nothing less, nothing more.  But then even looking at myself, there is only about 1 person that I know in my life that have seen and/or capable of keeping up with me with mixture of all the sides above, and he's already my ex.  So I'm wondering,  "would I ever get my Mr.Perfect??"

Meh, I hope so, I don't want to be single til I die.

Oh, on a random note, I was talking to BabyFace today about Poet and how everything that can stuff up by moving into another country has happened to this poor man, and somehow when I refer about him, I'm speaking in my weird half Malaysian-ish accent!  I'm blaming this on you Poet, I haven't even left my country yet and getting an accent!! (If you've been sneezing this morning, you know why now!).  But gees, I don't even want to think about what's gonna happen in few months down the track.  I thought kiwi accent is bad enough, I don't need another one.