Still Lost.

It's amazing how much time in your life you can waste.

I've been jobless for almost 3 months. And I'm still here unsure of what I want to do.

I think sometimes in life, it's easier to not think, and just move the body, and let things flow the way it flows.

For once, I like being a stupid dumb girl who has no plans.

I don't have anything stable under my feet, but maybe that's just the way it's supposed to be.

I feel like throwing everything that I have, so I only have a bag to carry with me.

I'm not interested in looking pretty that much anymore

I like cultures, I like people.

I feel as though I want to be a hobo, just travel around for all my life, taking pictures of what I see so I can share with the people I love.

I wish the world would not revolve around money, but I know that's not possible.

My friend told me to write a book, along with the pictures that I took in the past.

Everything sound so sweet but I know reality is not that sweet.

Or am I making excuses so I don't have to do it all?

Am I closing the paths so I don't have to look at it?

I don't know...

My heart tells me that I need to go back home, where everything I love is.

But I'm scared that my home can't provide me things I need to live.

I love being surrounded by people but sometimes I just want to escape

Or have a friend I can be silent with.

I feel like I'm being a spoilt little brat, year by year

Maybe I am.

Maybe I'm not as strong as I thought I was.

Some part of me tells me I want to get back into that career path leading top of the line products.

But knowing the hell I have to go through, I don't want to do it again.

Sometimes I think girls have it easy, when it comes to worse, we can run away from reality in the name of "making a family".

Even having a family is not that easy, I know, but when you want to run away from life, it's the best place to be.

I still don't know what I want....