Beginning And The End

Ever since I booked the ticket to go and see you, my mind has been all about you. What we are going to do, what we can do.

I think so much about what will happen when we finally see each other again. Are you going to smile to me with those boy-ish eyes? or are you going to pick me up and give me a big cuddle hug? or are you going to ask for kisses like you used to?

Which ever it is, I'm just excited that I can see you, not over camera but in person.  But at the same time, I have the sad truth that this meet up is not going to last forever. Like any beginning to a story, there has to be an end, one way or another. It's just that the ending comes very very quick this time. although I try not to think about it, I know I won't be able to hide my tears after spending time together in person again.

There is part of me that wants to keep the way were are, the way we were. Our weekly skype dates, not just 1 but 2-3 times a week, adventures in the weekend then catch up again when the week begins. The thrills and the stress of being in another country, and comfort and support we've been giving each other this whole time. But I want to say something to you that I've been wanting to say for a quite some time.  Would that ruin this comfort that I have now? I don't know, but I want you to know.

I am not worried about not changing, but I am scared about losing what we have now.

I'm just hoping for an happy ever after rather than tragedy. Will you accept me? I guess only the heaven will know....