I'm a Spoilt Brat

Well, there are few things I learnt since I've arrived in Indonesia, but one of the biggest thing is the fact that I'm a complete spoilt little brat.

I used to think that you know, I'm adaptable, I can take on quite a few things, but that thought alone is a comment of a kid who hasn't seen the world.

Now that I'm in a country where English is an alienated language, I know extremely well about how useless I am.  Even when I was in Singapore, I was frustrated about the fact that people are quire short tempered over there and they will literally ignore you when you don't speak in proper madarin/chinese pronounsation.

Now that I'm in Indonesia, I'm living in a house that normal people will never afford to live, and if I want anything, all I have to do is tell my boss, and I even get some pocket money.  I get a private driver to my doorstep every morning and night.  While I have all this, I'm too scared for my precious body that I'm way over-using hand sanitizers, baby wipes instead of water,  I don't use anything but bottled water, I will keep my 2 aircons in my room on all the time.  I'm refusing to eat most of local food coz of my poor stomach, and also I have to ask someone to help me with EVERYTHING including "my hot water isn't running" and "the cloth hanger we brought has a part missing and needs to be replaced".  Oh, and most hilarity of all, I am now one of those people who is wrapped in Louis Vitton, quite literally as it's my bedding.

While I get all these treatments, my colleagues some whom are senior, comes to work on a public transport, taking 2 hours.  Gets paid a less than me, talks to me in a polite form.  As we drive to work, we pass some of the poor parts of the city.   Some of these houses don't even look liveable, but they are living in it.  Some young children are working on the streets filled with dust, exhorts , .  And I think to myself, although I was excited about getting all these treatments, what do I actually do that I deserve these treatments?? Me, a newbie, who doesn't know crap gets the best treatment and treated like a guest.  How?? I really wonder how??

And also, I wished my company would give some of these money they spend on me to Christchurch.  And while I thought about these things, an earthquake and tsunami hit in Japan, and aftershock and more tsunami is still continuing. I am fortunate that even during both of these events, my family and friends are ok although they were in the disaster hit areas.  Unlike my colleague whom the parent is actually from that tsunami hit area, and still can't get in touch.   There is nothing I can do for these people except to pray, and donate some money if I can.  I just feel absolutely useless and I'm hating it.


I am so useless, I feel like a child who wants to grow up so I can do something, but the reality is.......