Home sick!

Tonight, I'm so home sick to the point that I feel like saying "I'm going back to NZ".

I am so home sick to the point that I feel like crying.

I am so home sick to the point that I don't want to stop talking to other people, just to prove the point that I am not alone.

I am so so so so so missing home.

I talked to my old colleague from the chocolate factory today, and she made me realise how much I miss and loved that work.  Although there were many rough times, I really truly loved the things I did in that 1 year.  1 year may not sound long to some people, but for me, that 1 year was a GREAT year.

I had to stay home all day today and came to the conclusion that having too much time for myself is not a good idea.  I don't want to think and look back, I need to keep going forward.  I chose this road that I'm on and I don't want to prove myself that I chose the wrong path.  But having time for myself gives me too much time to think.  I need to keep on moving.

I miss the hugs and cuddles of the friends back home. In the past, when I hit my wall, I used to go up to Signal Hill by myself or with the ChemNerd.  He knows me so well, he've seen my up and downs, he was there when my parents went back to Japan, he was there when me and EuroTraining broke up, and he was there when I hit my last wall with work.  I miss having a friend like that.  I still trust him, and i can tell him almost anything about me, but it's not the same over emails or phones, I miss having a person's existence.  I miss all that.



Tonight, I'm missing everything.