Things To Do List

Alright, I tend to think I know what I want and where I am going waaaaay too much more than I ACTUALLY know. And also, I also have this tendency that I figure out my position and where I stand while I talk to someone. I know, I'm just good at looking like I standing on my left two feet.

So this week was the fist week I ACTUALLY worked. It sounds pretty stupid that after a whole 7 moths that I'm finally standing on my starting line. I'm at the point of challenge that I was faced with in the chocolate factory days after a whole 7 months.

My boss at the chocolate factory used to tell me "a graduate will take half a year to train, but an experienced will take 2 moths". And guess what happened? I didn't take not only 6 month but 7 instead. It is true that my 4 months was completely wasted on QC, and I know in my mind that QC is utterly important, and it is something that someone has to do keep our trust between our business partners and us. But it's just not my thing, and that 4 months as a QC was just a WASTE. You can call it as an "experience" but it's not something I aim for or enjoy, therefore a WASTE.  And work does dominate like 80% of our lives whether we like it or not. And coz of that, it is important to like or find a point in what we do every day.

So pretty much put everything aside, I am back to month 3 of my work, and I'm FINALLY doing what I wanted to do, and doing a job which I left my loving home for. I don't want to cry about my work anymore. I want to make a mark on this country and leave. I know for a fact that this job I currently have will help me in my future career, and I'm on the stepping ladder.

So here is my things to do list before I leave this country
1. Be a professional business partner. It is not YOUR customer, but OUR business partner. I need to build a bridge of communication that everyone does not have. You provide me with the direct information of the market, and WE are going to make this happen.
2. Make a seasoning that hit the market.  So I know that I am NOT a loser, and I rely on my data, not what I like, or what I think it's the best, but what the market wants. To show that this is my CAREER, not my hobby. Nobody gives a crap what I like, but this is all about making something that sells.
3. My deadline is 1 year, if not a half.  Mr Bonus, you better watch it, coz I'm giving you all I got even if that means I have absolutely no life.

Shit work place? that's beside the point, I know I am a strong person, and I've been a wimp til now, but I'm back on my two feet, and I AM GOING TO DO THIS. France is my next stop and this is just an obstacle, but in the long time, it will be one of my step. So goodbye my life, and hello my work-a-holic presence.

So That's What I Told Her.....

So the classic question you use to avoid awkward conversations.

"I have a good news and a bad news. Do you want to hear the good news first or the bad news first?"

I told her about my termination of probation and the promotion to my executive role, and the crap that goes with it. 2nd day into my role, I already felt like running into the other direction.

Then I told her the ACTUAL news that I wasn't too sure how to tell her.

Yeah, sorry mother, I'm not coming back to Japan for a wee holiday til next year, but I'm going somewhere that takes equally mid distance and costs about the same amount.

But although that may be a bad news for you, it can't be any better than that for me.

I'm counting down..... 22 days to go.....

Dream Come True

Even on the dullest days,

The thought of being in your arms makes me smile.

But I don't have to think about it anymore,

Because it'ss finally going to come true!!

We've had the talk for so long, and it seemed like it was going to end in a "dream".

But this is it, I finally get to hold you and be held by you in person.

Let the count down begin.....

Past

It is always weird meeting new people that knows my past.  Although I am not that fussed about it anymore, it still makes me feel like I have to behave myself just in case the stories get to your ears.

I like my memories of you at the end, but it's not all about fun too, like any relationship.

I like to leave my memories how it is, it is in a beautiful frame, hanged and untouched, and it should be left that way.

Why does it feel like a sin to talk about your lost loved ones? You still made a mark on my life in a good way and a bad way. And it will be a lie that if I ever tell anyone about you, it is only about a positive matter.

I still remember your last words.

"You keep on moving, and live your life. I want to see you achieving your dream. Stay proud of who you are, and remember that you are 1 special person, and never ever change".

When I meet people who are still in contact with you, or is possible to be in touch with you, I feel the need to prove to them that I am still living proud, so if you ever ask, they can tell you that you can be proud of me, with or without you.

I'm definitely not trying to be a bitch saying "I'm better off without you", but I want you to feel that it was the right choice that we broke up. I know you are the one who made the decision in the end, but if having my dream is the cause of our failure, then it is only I to blame.  But because "we" no longer happens, I want you to know that you made a right choice for me.

Shit happens in this world, but this shit, it was definitely meant to happen.

Calling it Quits

It's not an idea, but it's a final world.

QUITS

I thought we had a pretty good understanding, but I should have known this was coming. You never looked back twice about suddenly dropping what you loved so much.

AND IT HURTS

It hurts more than a relationship breakup.



I CANNOT ACHIEVE WHAT I HAVE WITHOUT YOU


YOU BROUGHT ME INTO THIS WORLD


BUT NOW YOU ARE LEAVING ME BY MYSELF IN THIS WORLD


I wish you never did, then it wouldn't have hurt so much. Back in the days, I used to feel like we can win anything dancing with you.  And I still do, but I don't know what you think. But do I know anything about you anymore? Am I even considered as your friend anymore?  I know, I'm not your girlfriend and I don't care about that. I just have no idea about who you are anymore. You only show your surface, and not what's underneath it.


Congrats,

You've fully adapted into Singapore.

Idols

I always thought it was so bizarre how american people seems to have strong opinion about people being a "role model" or an "idol" for younger generations. 

I used to think 

"you know what, that's call just being influenced without thinking so you don't have to think for yourself"

But I think I have an idol now too.  Her name is Jo Quinones, aka Bachata Princess, this dynamic lady right here.

I took a private lesson with her and he equally amazing partner Vince Torres, and I have absolutely no regrets.  She is so gorgeous, so dynamite, and I will admit, I have a crush on her!! (Yes daddy, shush, I know!).  I got an email from her today, in reply to my thank you letter that I sent to her the other day. And it totally melted my heart, and kept me happy all day.

I like the fact that latin dancing can be practiced by yourself too, whereas with Ceroc, it's more than a bit difficult. And right now, I want to be dancing every minute that I can see my reflection all the stuff she has taught me. The balance, the weight, the lines, everything.  She told me that me and Poet must send her a clip of new and dazzled version of our routine within a month to see our progress. And WOW that's more than a motivation for sure!!!!! every time I'm dancing, there is part of me who is thinking in my head, "I wanna get better so I can show Jo that she can really influence on someone's life!!"  I want to maker her feel proud, I want to make her feel that she is AWESOME.  And if I can have even 5% of the hotness that she has, I'll be all over the place!!!!!

Jo Quinones, you have taken my heart away!!!!  

Dance Dance Dance!

My heart is beating to the to the music

My feet is pounding to the beat

My soul is shouting at me to dance

Should I? or should I not? you are part of me, and I am part of you. The music is my blood.

I don't have to stop dancing, but I need to restrict myself. But how do I free myself without the dances I love, the music I love, and the people I loved.

Why do I dance? I do def care about how I appeal when I dance, but at the end of the day, it is only me who really cares how I dance or not.  The more I practice, and more I can move.  The more I can move, the more I can share my feelings.  My dancing is like my naked self.  Maybe I just want to tell people how I feel about the music? I don't know. All I know is that I love dancing, especially bachata.

I will put my shoes down for now, like I've told myself.  But I will not stop dancing in my heart. I will come back to you dancing feet, just wait for me, coz I will, I promise....