Transition

I never understood the words that the Dr. Always said to me.

I never could understand why he wanted to be alone.

I never wanted to understand the way he lived.

Until now, when I was put in a same position.

I never have thought that I would say the same words he never said to me. The only difference is, I still think I would have said something different if I knew that I should never let the person in front of me go.

I wished souch that when I cut you off, that you would think of me more.

I wished that you will appreciate my company.

And that you would come back to me.

And at the end of the day, you did. You went through everything that I wished you would go through.

Yet, nothing changed in the end.

Here I am, away and separate and still in love with you.

And you on the other side, feeling the same. But the distance between us does not change.

Like you told me from day one, you are still the way you are. And now I know that at every step of the way, I had every right to step away from it all, and it was me who let him be the way he was. If I wanted him to change, I had to change too, I shouldn't have just waited for him to change. Coz we know what the result would be for that case.

At the end of the day, I still love you. And I hope you do too.

The truth

He told me he misses me.

He told me he wants to see me.

I'm already full of regrets knowing that you're somewhere under this sky in the same city, yet I'm too stubborn to say yes.

I told you only to come back if you want to change, and I already know the answer to that.

But I can't help this feeling inside me, that even if you didn't want change, if you showed me that you really want to see me rather than just sending vague messages to me for guilt trip, then I would have welcomed you in at instant.

Only if you were passionate enough to stand on my door step with arm full of flowers, just to say hi, I would have accepted you in.

The truth is, I miss you.

I love you.

And all I can think about is you.

And it still hurts.